I’ve been struggling with how to maintain relations with a specific friend in my life and despite my best efforts there always seems to be friction between us.

If I had to define our current status it would be Frenemy which is defined as:

one who pretends to be a friend but is actually an enemy

Perhaps it’s my personality that annoys them or perhaps they’re holding a grudge against me for something I said (which I wish they would clarify as I’m not a telepath and I loathe indirectly reading body language).

Either way I think it’s best if we go our separate ways and forget about the great past that we had between us.

Due to circumstances slightly beyond my control I can not cut off complete communication with them; however I’m going to minimize how much time I interact with them on a weekly basis (not to mention eliminate any social connections I currently have with them).

While I wish them success in their future endeavors, I no longer have any desire to be apart of their life. /end rant

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No, not the other type of friends with benefits, but rather friends who truly benefit you throughout life.

Throughout my life I’ve been blessed with friends ranging from pure acquaintances to the would die for variety.

Although most of them I would help out without a second thought, very few (less than a dozen) truly benefit me (as in help improve my life).

I’m not sure whether it’s the state of the economy, the dismal political choices, or the immense loneliness that is apparently blanketing the planet, but it seems as if people view me as an ATM; a place to make withdrawals but no deposits.

It’s become so straining that I’ve begun publicly expressing apathy towards various individuals, ignoring their plights for help and refusing to hangout (or even hang around) with them as I’m tired of having my strength and emotions exhausted on their behalf.

This probably doesn’t make the greatest friend in the world, but I wish for once people would get over their doubts, fears, depression, etc., and resolve their own recurring issues without my input.

The world isn’t going to hell in a hand basket, and for once I’d like to be inspired by select friends overcoming their issues (instead of vice versa) and look at life as a challenge full of obstacles instead of a dungeon full of beatings.

Let’s inspire each other towards success instead of wallowing in despair. Oh, and I wouldn’t mind if people threw their skin in the game from time to time, as it would help benefit me (and ease the load).

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Solomon’s words of wisdom ring true today as they did thousands of years ago.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

~Proverbs 4:23

I think my biggest problem is that I’m too open hearted, which results in me exposing myself to the wrong people who in hindsight do not have my best interests in mind (and end up causing me unnecessary grief).

I need to be more selective when it comes to personal friendships lest I end up receiving another heartache.

In essence I need to begin focusing on myself and less on distractions. Starting tonight….or maybe tomorrow (as it’s late right now).

–Posted from my iPhone

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I love dogs! Why? Because no matter whether you’re having a great day, a horrible day, or anything in between they are always excited to see you (provided they know you and don’t bite you that is).

Cats on the other hand are (from my experience) different. If you are able to win their affection they may or may not display it in public, giving you the cold shoulder as soon as you see them.

I think friends generally fall into one of these two categories. You have some who publicly enjoy seeing you in person, and the small minority who truly enjoy your presence, but not in public.

Or as I like to say Dog People and Cat People. I’m not sure why I spend so much energy investing myself into Cat People, but honestly it’s becoming a draining experience.

And it’s something that I hope changes in the future. Soon…

Image Credit: Nickelodeon

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(Image Courtesy of Emmaru)

It looks like I’ll be entering a new season in life. I won’t go into details publically here (that’s what private posts are for!!) but let’s just say 2010 will be a defining moment in my life.

Personally I feel like everything about me is being sifted and shifted, and my faith in various institutions is turning into ash while my faith in a few friendships is being tested to the extreme (in a good way I hope!).

Well, that is it thus far. I’m looking forward to the future, whatever it may bring!

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“What is Love?”
(Is a question I once asked)
“Is it a gift from above?
Is it an action or a task?

Can you enlighten my mind,
To this strange emotion?
That makes cold hearts kind
And full of devotion

To the significant other
Whom you deeply admire
And try not to smother
With your passionate desire

Some say love isn’t real
That’s it’s all just in your head
But if that’s truly the deal
Then one is better off dead

For the mind is very fickle
Despite it’s thirst for knowledge
It’s worth is about a Nickle
After one finishes college

Love is not an action
For all actions have an end
And lack the satisfaction
Of a trust worthy friend

Love is not an emotion
For emotions are irrelevant
Ever changing with commotion
Going from wrath to benevolent

What is love? Can you tell me?
Can you find its definiton?”
This question I asked Amy
Who provided this explanation

“Love is kind, love is strong,
And provides no tally of wrongs
It’s forgiving and accepting
And it’s never, ever rejecting

Full of grace and full of mercy
But it’s also willing to hurt thee
To bring truth into your ears
Despite the future tears

It foolishly places it’s trust
And is willing to go bust
By revealing it’s greatest secret
Believing that you will keep it

Love is constant, it won’t fade
For it’s ultimately made
To last beyond a million days
Love is Forever and Always!”

I still asked more questions
But her answers remained the same
And despite my best intentions
I started to like this dame

And thus began the story
About Darnell and Amy
Two souls seeking out a journey
Together–for the rest of eternity.

Poem by Darnell Clayton

–Posted via iPhone

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